FRANK THE BARTENDER ….

A WRITER IN A HEATWAVE ….

FRIEND, THE WORLD IS GREY NOW ….

IT HAPPENED AT CHRISTMAS ….

ABOUT WRITING ….

YOU MAY LIVE IN THE SUNSHINE WORLD …...

YOU MAY LIVE IN THE SUNSHINE WORLD ….

BUSHFIRE …

INTRODUCING

I HAVE THE GREAT PLEASURE OF INTRODUCING AND RECOMMENDING MY GOOD FRIEND AND FELLOW AUTHOR

YOU MAY LIVE IN THE SUNSHINE’S WORLD…..

ARE YOU AN AUTHOR?

TWO MEN DANCING……

Having completed my turn into Hills Avenue and

gazing automatically ahead towards the veterinary

surgery, which was about half way to my destination, I

saw something that made me sit bolt-upright. Outside

the entrance of the vet’s were two men dancing!

‘What?’ My tranquil eyes snapped wide open and I

looked again. Although still far away, I could definitely

make out two men dancing. They were about the same

size and holding each other in an embrace while dancing

to the tempo of an imaginary English Waltz.

‘What is happening to me?’ I looked again, this time

squinting, yet there they were, still dancing! All the time

I was getting closer and seeing them more clearly. On

and on they danced, on the spot, in front of the entrance.

But having nearly reached the two, I suddenly noticed

that they were not two men, but one man and his Great

Dane! They were holding each other the same way:

upright, hands and paws at each other’s shoulder blades,

staring into each other’s eyes with utter concentration,

but neither saying a word. The man was rather elegantly

dressed in an expensive suit and his face was almost as

red as a stop sign from embarrassment and effort.

Wondering what the problem was with the two and

slowing down almost to a halt, I suddenly perceived the

true situation. The man was trying to get the Great Dane

into the veterinary surgery but the dog didn’t want to go.

Obviously the man had tried brutal force by positioning

his dog in the doorway and trying to push him through.

The dog had, in return, reared up on his hind legs and

got a hold of his master exactly the way he, himself, was

being held. Every time the man tried to push the dog

through the glass door into the waiting room, the big dog

took evasive action. Obviously, he was smarter than his

owner because every time the man tried to push him hard

against the door, he did not push back - oh no! Instead,

he quickly side-stepped so that the man found himself in

the doorway, with the dog on the footpath side!

So he had to resume his original position again, with

the dog in front of the door and him on the road-side.

Another push against his dog was parried again with

a side-step (actually a ‘Quick-Step’, as they teach in

dancing schools) and, once more, he found himself in the

doorway instead of his dog! A step forward, side-step,

reverse position and, again, round and round they went.

If it had been a dancing competition and somebody had

played the tune of the ‘Tennessee Waltz’ they would

have won a prize, for sure! They just kept looking at each

other very seriously whilst pirouetting on the spot.

I had to drive on and was long past the two when

I glanced into the rear vision mirror and saw that they

were still dancing. And they really did look like two men

dancing! Except one of the two had his trouser bottom

rather low, with spindly, unattractive, legs sticking out!

Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org                                     http://www.life-on-the-road.com

YOUR MANUSCRIPT IS COMPLETE – NOW WHAT?

Obviously, all your good work has come to fruition and you are finally holding your completed manuscript in your hands! Of course, you have been re-reading everything many times over and, to your dismay, have always found misspellings and sentences that need improvement. It is amazing how difficult it is to detect one’s own shortcomings. You virtually need to have a split personality and go over your writing with the eye of a different persona.

As the next step, you are looking for an editor. There are many freelance editors advertising their services in writers circles and it is a good method to start looking at the ones advertising at you state’s Writers’ Centre.

There is a paramount need to ask for an editor’s references, for previous authors to contact, or for writing projects they have completed, their university training and for their fee. Like with a resume’ for a job applications everything needs to be investigated and followed-up to avoid financial and literary consequences.

Some editors prefer to have the manuscript sent to them printed out, some insist on an electronic transfer of the manuscript. Some insist on contacting you and to discuss every word they find while others are happy if you tell them that you accept their improvements in advance. By approaching several editors, you also get an idea of the standard fee. The rule here is that the height of the fee is no guarantee for quality and neither is paying a bit more for extra good work or payment in advance!

Once such editor, I contacted, is also the editor of a science fiction magazine and his correspondence was peppered with words like ‘new world order’ ‘astro this’ and ‘space that’! And her quoted fee, too, was astronomical! Some editors do very little work for their money, claiming that they were not ‘ghost writers’, another editor insisted on being paid in advance and then did not touch my manuscript for two months. Upon cancellation of the contract, she wanted a cancellation fee. One editor seemed to be perfect in every way, but she was booked-out for almost a year with other assignments for a large publisher. One editor quoted turn-around time two weeks which was obviously far too short for a voluminous manuscript, another editor sent my manuscript back only half-way through because he’s lost his interest. There are myriad things that can happen and it is very important that a first-time author checks and re-checks these editors before contracting one.

After the manuscript has been returned, physically or electronically, the author then needs to go over his writings once more and change the corrections into clear print.

Once this tedious work of probing for the right editor has been completed, it will not only result in getting a person whom you will enjoy working with and the waiting period for the edited manuscript will be a pleasant period instead of one filled with anxious nail-biting.

Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org

http://www.life-on-the-road.com

AMERICAN ENGLISH

A wordsmith, young, was working late,

The right word here is lucubrate,

Syllogistic like a popinjay,

He bloviates in written fray

Like pecksniffians a statement make!

Any comments?

Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org

http://www.life-on-the-road.com

THE AUSTRALIAN ALPHABET (continued)

LETTERS 'K' to 'O'

The Kangaroo is a marsupial proud,

a Kookaburra laughs aloud.

The Leadbetter's Possum is nearly extinct,

a Lager is a favourite drink.

A Mate is as important as beer,

Meat pies are eaten with gusto here.

One cannot hunt in a National Park,

Ned Kelly was not a very bright spark!

The Opera house is a Diva's home,

in Orbost lots of Wombats roam.

Will be continued ...........

Would you like to leave a comment?

Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org

http://www.life-on-the-road.com

THE AUSTRALIAN ALPHABET (continued)

LETTERS 'F' to 'J'

The F-word is quite often heard,

Footy is no game for a nerd!

A Galah is not always a bird,

the Grampians we know - what's Gariwerd?

'Hooley Dooley' is said as surprise,

to give Hampers at Christmas is very wise!

Too much Idiot Box can be a folly,

an Icey pole is a frozen lolly.

A Jelly is a delicious dish,

which can't be said for the Jellyfish.

Will be continued.....

Would you like to leave a comment?

Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org

http://www.life-on-the-road.com