CRASH!

‘Good afternoon Annette!’ I entered her shop with my black airline pilot’s case and a little sample rug under my arm. ‘Welcome, Peter, how are you today? Her dignified voice conveyed genuine pleasure.

She had her interior design shop recently re-decorated and the merchandise rearranged; I took quick notice of her brocade curtain materials and velvet cushions with gold embroidery. Interspersed with this were lace fringes and golden tassels everywhere. There was also a large elegant bed displayed in the centre of the room and rugs of oriental designs along the side walls. In the back of the shop was her desk across the right-hand corner and the entire back wall was one big mirror, giving the appearance of more space and display than there actually was. I noticed in the mirrored wall an open door to the backroom, where retailers keep their stock, receive their deliveries and, of course, keep their café bar. Annette had an imported espresso machine and her coffee was really strong - it always made me leave her establishment with added spring in my steps.

We sat at her desk with a cup in hand and discussed business. She gracefully took one of my flooring samples I had brought with me and we talked about its technical details and my company’s general supply situation.

One soft vinyl sample with a grey slate pattern caught her eye and she was very keen to find out more about it, especially the delivery situation as she seemed to have already a customer in mind. Fingering my pockets I noticed that I had left my mobile phone in the car.

‘May I phone my company for exact dates?’ I asked politely.  She nodded with her usual grace.

Keenly looking around, I could not find her telephone on her desk, which was cluttered with upholstery fabric and curtain material and my own samples on top of all this. There was only merchandise in the shop, as far as I could see. In order not to show any slackening-off and eager to please, I looked behind me, along the huge mirror-wall and sure enough, in the doorway to the back room, I could see a small, classic, table with an antique looking telephone that had shiny brass parts shiny and seems to sparkle at me as if in invitation.

‘Ah, here it is!’ I exclaimed resolutely, jumping up and striding towards it. I’ll soon have the information we need and then there will be another satisfied customer!

CRASH!  There was suddenly the loudest bang I’ve ever experienced, my face felt so flat and there were sparks before my eyes, shooting in all directions and not for decorative purpose!

I was thrown back by something invisible, and onto the soft-carpeted floor.

‘Wha...what happened?’ I exclaimed in a daze, shaking my head and fingering my nose. It took me a while to get up and even then I staggered and swayed about as if drunk.

Slowly, the pain subsided and I tried again to walk through the door to the stylish table with the telephone. A small reflection of light gleamed in the air and only then could I discern what had happened. The door to the back room was also a full length mirror and, as it was left ajar, at about a 45 degree angle. It showed the reflection of the table which was actually on the right-hand side, out of direct view!

At a casual glance it had appeared to me on the left hand side and I had walked straight into this reflection. This mirrored door was too strong to crack, but boy was it hard!

Annette couldn’t help laughing, aloud and heartily, being a lady or not! Enjoying this bit of amusement with wild abandon, she leaned back in her cosy, sumptuous, chair, throwing back her head in helplessness. I could understand her point of view as I, too, had in the past worked in retail shops and had always appreciated funny things happening. Retailing can be a bore, with long hours and customers constantly asking the same questions all day long and reps, calling and talking about their boring products.....  

Straightening up and stepping into the right direction, I dialled my company and, with extra stiffness, I obtained the required information for Annette. After that, I bid her adieu and retreated to my car. Still aching, I drove off to my next port of call.

Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org

http://www.life-on-the-road.com 

A JUG OF RAIN WATER….

It was mid-afternoon when I reached the town of Teelac which turned out to be  a small rural centre with clean streets and attractive buildings at its CBD. The school appears to be freshly painted and the sports ground was currently being used by a group of athletic youths, obviously training for their weekend’s football match. The road through the town was paved with attractive bricks, giving everything a homely atmosphere.

Driving through this pleasant location, I was impressed by a well-kept war memorial with surrounding green lawn. There were inviting park benches everywhere as a sign that this place was making every effort to ensure  visitors feel welcome. At the other end of the town, a newly-built motel offered the latest comforts. Its clean brick walls seemed to glow in the afternoon sun and, turning into the drive way, the big gate seemed to smile a welcome to the tired traveller. ‘Yes,’ I decided, this would be my abode for the night!

All I needed was to book my room, transfer my cases into it and then visit my contact in the town before calling it a day.

‘Good afternoon Sir!’ A friendly voice behind the reception counter greeted me and a pleasant face smiled a welcome. Having been given the room key after the paper formalities I thanked her and turned to leave.

‘Have a pleasant stay, Sir!’ Her voice was soothing.

‘Thank you very much, I think I will. This is a very nice place!’ I could only confirm.

‘We are now four weeks open!’ She explained. ‘By the way, I have placed a jug of rainwater in your room!’

‘Many thanks,’ I replied routinely, wondering what that was all about. ‘What do I do with a jug of rainwater?’ I wondered.

‘No problem, you can have another one if you wish! Just pick up the phone in your room’

‘Amazing,’ I thought. ‘What’s with the jugs of rainwater? Are there special qualities in the town’s rainwater?’ I wondered. Do women wash their hair in it? Does it have rejuvenating qualities? Since I didn’t want to ask a silly question, I tried to think of the solution myself.

Walking into my room, which was very modern and extremely comfortable, I switched-on the air-conditioner to full blast. On the table stood the aforementioned jug of rainwater with two inviting drinking glasses beside it. Staring through the glass jug at the water, it appeared no different than other water. Puzzled by all this, I started to lay out my paperwork on the little desk for making my report and checking my orders before passing them on to my office.

‘But first, I must have my cup of coffee!’ Automatically, I got up and tried to fill the electric jug from the tap, only to recoil in horror as a dirty brown liquid came gushing out of it; a kind of disgusting broth that turned my stomach.  

‘What is this?’ I gasped. Regaining my composure, I remembered that I had been in situations before where I could wash and shower in the local water but not drinking it. I certainly had never seen water that bad! And suddenly I felt a gratitude for the local burghers of this town who tried to live with this situation somehow. They certainly went out of their way to help visitors cope with this  shortcoming.

Gratefully, I helped myself to the rainwater in the jug and the cup of coffee turned out to be great. Soon I was engrossed in my paperwork, sorting out the results of my day’s work before visiting my first appointment in this drought-stricken town.

Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org

http://www.life-on-the-road.com 

A MISUNDERSTANDING....

The voice on the other end of my car phone sounded a bit anxious! ‘You are giving a product presentation today – is that still on?’

Sally was a receptionist in a large firm of architects and designers and something of an all-rounder as her responsibilities were many. And obviously, she had been told to ‘make sure that everything goes well’ with my lunch-time product presentation to the architects and designers.

‘Of course, Sally! The presentation is at 12 noon and, in fact, I am already on my way to you to set everything up in your conference room.’ As usual, I had to sound calm and very reassuring, despite the fact that I felt a bit jumpy because a lot of things can go wrong on such an occasion and have so in the past!

Which is the reason why I was already on the way to their offices: to make sure that nothing could go wrong with my slide projector on its tripod, my mobile screen, the slides in their carousel cartridge, and my infrared remote control. I wanted to be sure of all that in order to switch-on the projector and everything worked as it should.

Oh, and I needed to remind the caterer as my company provides a sumptuous meal, a tasty treat for everybody whilst I talk!

The caterer I was engaging had great status in these circles; he was the elite among exquisite caterers by providing sandwiches that were out of this world, cheese platters, desserts, fruit juice and soft drinks on ice. Sometimes, I could hardly place any samples and brochures on the table but that was the way people seemed to like it. And I liked to observe the hungry people’s eyes when they walked into the conference room after a long morning of concentrated work, hungry, somewhat spent, and notice all this gluttony. To them, such pleasant surprises are rare!

So, whilst I spoke, everybody helped themselves freely to the food and drinks; after all, it was lunchtime!

I also recorded my visits by taking photos of the people there, mainly group photos, and placed them in a kind of photo album, carefully noting down the architect’s firm with address and the number of people attending. This gave me a kind of reference of my PR work. Of course, I also recorded exhibitions I’d organised or attended, graduation ceremonies of architects I had attended and sponsored, plus anything else pertaining to my sales promotion and public relations. 

However, it had happened a few times that I was so carried away  with my mission and, after the lecture, had spoken with so  many people, that I missed my chance of taking photos and, by the time I remembered, there was usually only one person left, helping himself to one last sandwich. There was no way I could have called everybody back for a group photo and, whenever  this happened, it irked me terribly!

Therefore, this time, I vowed, there will be nothing going wrong! ‘Excuse me,’ I said before the start of my presentation to some architect who was standing around and hungrily biting into his meal: ‘I wonder if you would be kind enough taking a few photos during my presentation; I’d like to record today’s event in an album as a memento.’ Managing a big smile and pleading eyes.  That man’s eyebrows shot up in amazement ‘How many photos?’ he asked slowly and with his mouth full. ‘Just a few, whatever you take I’d appreciate.’                                         Slowly, the man took my camera and I could read disbelief in his eyes.

At the end of this most successful lunch time meeting, he handed me back the camera with the same strange expression. Thanking him warmly, I packed all my equipment into their cases and boxes and carried everything out to my car. Storing everything carefully, I reflected on another very productive presentation!

‘Another successful event,’ I thought proudly as I sat in my car    ‘Everything went without a hitch! Before driving off I had a quick glance at the photos taken of this gathering. Taking my camera and checking the digital window, I discovered that this architect had misunderstood me and, instead of pictures of his colleagues, he’d taken twelve photos of me in various positions of speaking!

Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org

http://www.life-on-the-road.com 

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 ! (A LIMERICK)

THE GLASSES ARE FILLED WITH CHAMPAIGN AND BEER

LET'S RAISE THEM HIGH IN WELCOME CHEER

AND DRINK TO YOU MY DEAR VISITOR,

LOCAL OR FROM ANOTHER SHORE,

TO YOUR HEALTH AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org

http://www.life-on-the-road.com 

A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY BLOG VISITORS!

DEAR VISITOR,
HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS !
 THANK YOU FOR YOUR VISITS AND
PLEASE, COME AGAIN!

Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org

http://www.life-on-the-road.com 

MY CAT... (A LIMERICK)

Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org

http://www.life-on-the-road.com 

THE 'ATHLETIC' TRADESMAN!

‘This is ‘Springtime Nursing Homes’ an alarmed voice on the telephone informed me. ‘We have a problem with your vinyl – it won’t stay on the floor! The floor layer is jumping up and down….’

‘I am terribly sorry, but would you mind telling me where you are ringing from?’

The intake of a deep breath was heard. ’This is Brett Langley speaking. I am the manager of the nursing home in the town of Brine. Our local floor layer cannot install your bloody vinyl – it won’t stay on the floor. And our vinyl floor layer is jumping up and down!’

Writing everything down in my trusted day book, I required more details: ’I am giving your matter my utmost attention, Brett, and am noting down all the facts you are giving me….who is your flooring contractor?’

‘It’s Seaside Floor Coverings and the floor layer is a very good bloke, but he’s jumping up and down….’

‘I’ve got that, Brett. Now when can I come and meet you on site? Preferably with your floor layer and the owner of Seaside Floor Coverings…’

‘I want you to come right away, because the floor layer cannot finish his installation, he’s jumping….’

‘Yes, yes, I understand, Brett. Let me make a few phone calls and postpone some appointments I have for this afternoon and I shall ring you back and tell you the exact time I will be in your lovely town!’

And promptly, I arranged for a site-meeting for 4 pm and arrived somewhat earlier to familiarise myself with the situation.

Of course, not all tradesmen are like that. Most of them are hard working and decent people who have learned their trade properly in the colleges. They dress professionally and cleanly, remove surplus glue marks off the vinyl floor immediately and sweep the floor clean. Some even have a floor polisher with them and give their flooring a wonderful shine as the extra touch to an outstanding installation!

I had no chance of finding out to which category this floor layer belonged to – he wasn’t there!

‘Where is the floor layer?’ I enquired with amazement.

‘He is not here!’ His boss stated the obvious.

‘Why isn’t he?’ I enquired.

‘He had other things to do!’ His boss did not like being quizzed too deeply.

I took a deep breath. ‘If I come all the way from Melbourne in this matter, one would think that, if only for legal reasons, he’ll be here……’

‘You tell me and I’ll pass it on to him!’ His boss became more brutish.

‘I have to ask a few questions about the installation and if you can answer them for him, it is all right. Now what is the general problem?’

‘Well, don’t you see, it doesn’t stay put. The floor layer was jumping up and down……’

Brett Langley from the nursing home contributed: ‘ As you can see, he tried to install the stairs and couldn’t do it…your material!‘ Hitting me with an accusing look.

‘Ah, firstly, stairs need to be installed upwards not downwards – that’s the correct procedure - Australian Standard.’

Brett went on the attack: ‘Listen, he was jumping up and down….’

‘What adhesive was used? This question I directed to the flooring retailer.

‘Whatever you recommend!’

‘I am sorry, but for legal reasons you need to tell me, as I have to note down your answer.’

A shrug of the shoulder was the only answer.

The manager of the nursing home became impatient. ‘He is a very good bloke, Syd is. Tried very hard to install your flooring – for two days, actually. And then he came on Saturday as well and couldn’t do it. He was jumping……’

‘Yes, I’ve made a note of it.’

‘Now, has the subfloor been sanded and sealed?’ A shrug of the shoulders followed.

‘Has he spread the adhesive, whatever he used, with a trowel that has the correct size of notches?’ They darted incredulous glances darted at each other.

‘Has he got a trade certificate…..’

That hit home and everybody gasped!

‘Ah’, I thought, ‘he hasn’t!’

And now they were speaking to me simultaneously in a wild babble, accompanied with frantic gestures of their hands.

‘He was jumping up and down’ they kept repeating.

There was nothing more to be achieved. So, I managed to stay polite and outwardly calm and bid them farewell. This is one of the cases where I could not convince anybody of anything and drove off with the two still shouting behind me the main achievements of their athletic floor layer!

 Peter Frederick

http://www.peterfrederick.org

http://www.life-on-the-road.com