Showing posts with label raconteuring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label raconteuring. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

TOPLESS LADY

One day, which I particularly remember, was very hot - one of the hottest on record and the city was sweltering in the heat. It was the kind of weather that was popularly called a ‘real stinker’ and school children were sent home, building sites were deserted and I had the feeling that only company representatives were kept working as a refinement of torture.

On that day, I had to call on a private household to inspect a complaint about a flooring installation. It meant having to find the address in a new suburb called Brentworth, which was not recorded in my antiquated street directory. Also, it had a lot number instead of a house number which were always more difficult to find and very time consuming. However, despite those difficulties, I had to get the inspection over with!

Whilst driving in my air conditioned car the temperature was not a problem but every time I had to stop and get out, the heat hit me like one of the hot towels that barbers of old slapped onto customers’ faces!

In the end, the owner of a new milk bar had pointed me in the right direction: ‘The Fletchers are second street to your left. A white weatherboard house with roses planted along a white fence. We know them well.’

That would be easy, I thought. All that was needed was a quick inspection of the PVC flooring in the kitchen, asking all the relevant questions, making notes, and a speedy getaway to my normal calls, namely architects and government departments, who have all nice, air conditioned, offices!

Parking in front of the house, the heat caused me to stagger back as soon as I had stepped out of the car. Nevertheless I had grabbed my clipboard, tape measure, complaint forms and staggered towards the house. Ringing the bell took an eternity and there was no answer. I rang once more, taking care to keep under the shade of a newly installed veranda awning.

I had just decided to loosen my tie and unbutton my collar when I perceived movement in the house. Somebody was in there. I glanced at my watch which showed that it was indeed the appointed time of my inspection. Eventually the door opened slowly and a young girl of about 15 years of age stepped out. She was dressed only in a bikini bottom, had a kind of very open fishnet scarf wrapped around her shoulders and was covering up her ‘topless-ness’ with one arm folded across herself.

‘Yes?’ she said. ‘Who are you looking for?’
‘Is Mrs Fletcher in? I have an appointment to inspect the kitchen floor.’ I tried all the time to keep looking casually into her eyes but only managed a fixed stare, although I did notice her beautiful long wavy hair and her statue-like figure, with a shiny, silky skin.
‘Yes, this is the right house but my mother is not here at the moment. You are welcome to inspect the kitchen floor. Please come in.’ She stepped back, opening the door wide to let me in, using the other arm.

‘No, no, no, ‘I heard myself reply. ‘In order to inspect a complaint, the complainant must be present. An appointment had been made, but perhaps there was a misunderstanding somewhere.’ I tried to smile. She smiled back and tried to be more helpful by waving with her free arm in the direction of where her mother was right now.
‘She went over there (pointing over the trees to the next street) to the Wellingtons’ and my father’ - this time she nearly used the other arm - ‘went to work at the service station over there. Both will be back soon. Would you like to wait?’

Standing there in the searing heat and with her so close to me, I had to force myself to keep from getting dizzy. There was a sudden ringing in my ears and I had to force myself to concentrate.
‘No, thanks. But I’ll come again when I’ve made another appointment with your parents. Here is my business card’ and I held it towards her free hand. ‘Please ask your mother or father to give me another phone call and we will try it again. Goodbye for now!’
She smiled and reached out for my card, nearly shifting her other arm which gave me an electric sensation.

I could not get into my car quickly enough and had turned on the motor, blasting the air conditioning into my face at full force. This should ease my sudden headache, I had thought but it took me some time to recover enough to continue with the remainder of my calls for the day. Regaining my philosophical mood, I reminded myself that there were situations in a rep’s life that he dreaded but that he simply had to be in control of.

One day which I particularly remember was a very hot day - one of the hottest on record and the city was sweltering in the heat. It was the kind of weather that was popularly called a ‘real stinker’ and school children were sent home, building sites were deserted and I had the feeling that only company representatives were kept working as a refinement of torture.

On that day I had to call on a private household to inspect a complaint about a flooring installation. It meant having to find the address in a new suburb called Brentworth, which was not recorded in my antiquated street directory. Also, it had a lot number instead of a house number which were always more difficult to find and very time consuming. However, despite those difficulties, I had to get the inspection over with!

While driving in my air conditioned car the temperature was not a problem but every time I had to get out, the heat hit me like one of the hot towels that barbers of old slapped onto your face!
In the end, the owner of a new milk bar had pointed me in the right direction. ‘The Fletchers are second street to your left. A white weatherboard house with roses planted along a white fence. We know them well.’

That would be easy, I thought. All that was needed was a quick inspection of the PVC flooring in the kitchen, asking all the relevant questions, making notes, and a speedy getaway to my normal calls, namely architects and government departments, with nice, air conditioned, offices!

Parking in front of the house, the heat caused me to stagger back as soon as I had stepped out of the car. Nevertheless I had grabbed my clipboard folder, tape measure and forms and staggered towards the house. Ringing the bell took an eternity and there was no answer. I rang once more, taking care to keep under the shade of a newly installed verandah awning.

I had just decided to loosen my tie and unbutton my collar when I perceived movement in the house. Somebody was in there. I glanced at my watch which showed that it was indeed the appointed time of my inspection. Eventually the door opened slowly and a young girl of about 15 years of age stepped out. She was dressed only in a bikini bottom and had a kind of fishnet scarf wrapped around her shoulders and was covering up her ‘topless-ness’ with one arm folded across herself.

‘Yes?’ she said. ‘Who are you looking for?’
‘Is Mrs Fletcher in? I have an appointment to inspect the kitchen floor.’ I tried all the time to keep looking casually into her eyes but only managed a fixed stare, although I did notice her beautiful long wavy hair and her statue-like figure, except with a shiny skin.
‘Yes, this is the right house but my mother is not here at the moment. You are welcome to inspect the kitchen floor. Please come in.’ She stepped back, opening the door wide to let me in, using the other arm.

‘No, no, no, ‘I heard myself reply. ‘In order to inspect a complaint, the complainant must be present. An appointment had been made, but perhaps there was a misunderstanding somewhere.’ I tried to smile. She smiled back and tried to be more helpful by waving with her free arm in the direction of where her mother was right now.
‘She went over there (pointing over the trees to the next street) to the Wellingtons’ and my father’ - this time she nearly used the other arm - ‘went to work at the service station over there. Both will be back soon. Would you like to wait?’

Standing there in the searing heat and with her so close to me, I had to force myself to keep from becoming dizzy. There was a sudden ringing in my ears and I had to make myself concentrate.

‘No, thanks. But I’ll come again when I’ve made another appointment with your parents. Here is my business card’ and I held it towards her free hand. ‘Please ask your mother or father to give me another phone call and we will try it again. Goodbye for now!’

She smiled and reached out for my card, nearly shifting her other arm which had given me an electric sensation.

I could not get into my car quickly enough and had turned on the motor, blasting the air conditioning into my face at full force. This should ease my sudden headache, I had thought but it took me some time to recover enough to continue with the remainder of my calls for the day. Regaining my philosophical mood, I reminded myself that there were situations in a rep’s life that he dreaded but that he simply had to be in control of.



Friday, November 19, 2010

A KIND OF LOVE….

Ben Sampkins had a large retail shop that was not located in a shopping centre but hidden away in an area of factories. Somehow, this attracted lots of customers to him and he was placing orders quite frequently with my company, making him a much valued customer. Of course, I made sure that he had the latest samples and installed an attractive display stand in his shop. It was made of tubular steel with large, horizontal, selector pages to flip over. Housewives and decorators alike loved to stand there and leaf through its range of patterns.
Arriving there, I noticed a few cars parked right outside, which is always a good sign of business. It had a very wide shop front and the interior reached a long way to the back to where the offices were.
Stopping for a moment at the entrance, I took in picture, the whole layout of this attractive showroom. There were big rolls of carpets, arranged in herringbone fashion and on the side walls were hung beautiful rugs, passageway runners and over-locked carpet pieces. And sure enough there was a vinyl flooring section far in the back, near the offices, where my company’s display stand dominated the PVC flooring section.
From the ceiling were hung large signs, pictures of room settings and ‘Specials’ advertising, swaying slightly in a gentle breeze.
There was something else that called attention to itself: a grey tabby cat that kept brushing up against my leg in a friendly gesture of welcome. I patted the top of a roll of carpet and it understood immediately, jumping up onto the spot I indicated.
Naturally, since every staff in the shop seemed busy, I felt unobserved and therefore tickled this fluffy creature under the chin, behind the ears and stroked it vigorously, whispering sweet nothings and looking into its beautiful trusting eyes. I have never heard a cat purr so loudly; it licked my hand fast and with dedication – obviously, this gorgeous creature loved to be loved and to give love!
Eventually I had to stop and proceeded into the back of this gigantic showroom, where I found Ben in his office. He was a middle-aged man with the youngish, ruddy complexion of a country lad.
Sitting down, I immediately directed our conversation to the subject of my visit. There were new samples of floorings with especially developed low maintenance properties, always an excellent selling feature which I had to make him acquainted with. Together, with prices, technical literature and maintenance instructions, I stacked everything neatly on his desk and then decided to pay him a compliment.
‘You have a lovely cat, Ben! I’ve just played with it………’ But I didn’t get any further.
‘Oh, that bloody cat – drives me mad!’ Was his unexpected outburst.
‘But – it’s a lovely cat!’ Was my stunned utterance.
‘Well, you can have him.’ he acclaimed.
‘Why? Don’t you like cats?’ I jumped to its defence.
‘That bloody cat’, he repeated, ‘gets on my nerves…..I’m gonna get rid of him. Hangs around, costing me money, always wanting something………’
‘But it is a wonderful creature, a loving companion, a kind of partner……’ I found myself representing cats in general and that fluffy, furry creature I’d made friends with.
‘Take him with you! Go on, take him I can’t stand the sight of him anymore.’ His face reddened even more and his voice sounded very aggressive.
The arguments went back and forth for a while. Realising how long I had been with him and that it is never wise to upset a good customer, I stood up to bid my farewell. Trying to hide my hurt feelings I left his office.
Once outside his room, I found the cat was waiting for me. With its big amber eyes it looked so friendly and its fuzzy face was so lovable and trusting, my heart sank. ‘You poor creature’, I thought if only somebody would love you’. Then it started to show me the way to the entrance of the shop. Trotting ahead with its tail upright and looking back from time to time, it led me through the gigantic showroom and when we nearly reached the entrance, it jumped onto the same roll of carpet it had sat on before and looked at me encouraging. Naturally, I too, remembered what we had done before, so I stroked and tickled it and whispered sweet nonsense in its lovely ears. And it purred and licked my hand in rapture.
‘Hello Peter!’ One of Ben’s salesmen walked past and I had a desperate thought.
‘Do you want a cat, John?’
He looked surprised and taken aback.
‘Why would I want a cat?’
‘Ben wants to get rid of this lovely thing here. It needs a home!’
John sounded irritated: ‘He’s had that cat for years…..it wandered in one day and they have been together ever since.’
‘But he said he ….’
‘He never gets rid of him. He only talks funny’, John said, walking away and leaving me so relieved that I virtually floated out of this shop as if I’d gotten a very big order!